Stealth Masseuse

For Christmas this year, I gave Dave the gift of a one hour back massage every Sunday night for the rest of the year. It could have gone horribly wrong, of course. I could have forgotten to do it. I could have started the year off right and then just let busyness get in the way. But instead, we've protected this time and every Sunday night at 9:30 pm we close up the house, hop on the bed, turn the tv on, and I start the back massage.

I'm pretty proud of this gift for a few reasons: Dave carries almost all of his stress in his back and this is a good way for him to start the week a little better than he left it; like most men his love language is physical touch and all the massaging helps show him I like him, and the last reason - well, the last reason is completely, totally selfish and possibly the working of a criminal master mind.

While I back massage, I watch The Vampire Diaries.

Oh yeah.

While this hour long massage is happening, I am watching my Tivo-ed episode of The Vampire Diaries, possibly the most cheese-tastic show ever, with NO redeeming value, but lots of shirtless men brooding - Holla! (Yes, I just said Holla - roll with it.) Dave can not stand this show, so I don't make him watch it the day it comes on - that would be mean. But I have to watch it sometime, right? So, when Sunday night rolls around I turn on my show and he puts his face into the mattress and I massage his back for an hour while I watch. He would rather I be watching Mythbusters or something, but he's not going to argue while he's getting an entire hour of back massage, now will he? Nope, nope he won't. And you know he can't have his face in the mattress an entire hour, sometimes he catches glimpses of the screen, and of course he hears all of the dialogue.

You know what this means, right? Slowly, week-by-week, my master plan is working. Every now and then I hear:

"Hey, is that Damon or Stefen talking?"

"Now is this girl a vampire, too?"

"Wait, I thought she was dead."

"Is he wearing the ring that makes him unable to be killed? Where did he get that??"


Mwah ha ha ha ha....



Edited To Add: Dave wants the general populace to know that he does NOT watch Vampire Diaries for personal enjoyment, he is simply feigning interest to make me feel better :)